About Elm Spring
Elm Spring Water comes in bottles. That's about it. We're cheaper than pretty much everyone else, but it's still good quality. Fizzy or Still sums up our range, or we do the same stuff in a posh glass bottle for when you're trying to look a bit classy, i.e. impressing the in-laws... although, if you’re trying to impress the in-laws by buying posh water you must be a bit desperate.
We won't claim to infuse our water with elvish gold, nor will we tell you the source of our water originates at the tear duct of a unicorn (it's just a spring 'up North' actually). It would be wrong of us to sell it to you as anything other than water. It's similar to that wondrous stuff that comes out of your tap- the main difference being that it hasn’t already passed through someone else’s digestive system six times.
We're not saying water is boring- there are lots of useful things you can do with it other than drink it, such as pour it into a balloon and throw it at the next passing person (balloons not included). You could use it to top up the vodka you've been stealing from the drinks cabinet, or have a cold, expensive bath (this time round we actually suggest use the tap variety).